Now and Not Yet: A Journal, by Fr Mark Baumgarten

Now and Not Yet: A Journal

by Fr Mark Baumgarten

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1.	Wake-up Juice 02:59		buy track
2.	World Grow Up 04:59	lyrics	buy track
Everyone you see Is playing “Look at me” Our whole identity Comes from what’s on T.V. A flimsy fantasy Our complicity In a junk economy An endless spending spree ‘Cause we want what we see And we want it instantly I... am waiting for the world to grow up I... am waiting for the world to grow up The skewed priorities Of a “Me” society Pulls us constantly To a moral infancy The simplistic repartee Of the powers-that-be Preaching reciprocity “You’re with them or you’re with me” Well, I’m afraid I disagree I... am waiting for the world to grow up I... am waiting for the world to grow up I’m trying to be an adult In an adolescent playground It’s hard to be an adult But won’t you try to be an adult... It takes humility To see myself in thee I hope humanity Can reach maturity Well, I guess it starts with me I... am waiting for the world to grow up I... am waiting for the world to grow up I... am waiting for the world to grow up I... am waiting for the world to grow up
3.	The Guy Next Door 04:58	lyrics	buy track
Would the girl I met last weekend still want to see me? Would me upcoming job interview be nice and easy? That these were my biggest worries feels kind of greedy Because soon, to my embarrassment They seemed so insignificant When I find out about the guy next door My side of the fence was bubbling over with hope Yet a few feet away a man lost all power to cope So he drowned out his sorrows for good with a small piece of rope Thank God my housemate found him there Lest his daughter come home unawares Of what their backyard pine tree had in store (Instrumental break) Well I can't help but wish that I'd been a friendlier neighbour The lingering thought of “What if?” leaves a most bitter flavour Was there somebody standing by him as he started to waver? Now as life goes on for all the rest We wonder if we did our best To show a little love to the guy next door
4.	Better Than This 04:35	lyrics	buy track
Well, since you’ve come into my life I’ve had a joy I struggle to express Years of hurt and disappointment Swept away with a single “Yes” I get so excited, when I see what's happening Between you and me... It’s hard to see how heaven could be any better than this Said it's hard to see how heaven could be any better than this So often in the early days It’s all a masquerade A drawn-out struggle To be free to let go of the charades Yet from the start you've looked beyond the surface For a taste of the real me... It’s hard to see how heaven could be any better than this Said it’s hard to see how heaven could be any better than this A universal truth first needs to be seen in one place Well, I’ve heard that life’s a miracle But I believe it now that I’ve felt your embrace We come at this from different worlds So we’ll just improvise You know that I feel so inspired When I look in your eyes Sometimes I wonder if you are an angel That's come to set me free... It’s hard to see how heaven could be any better than this It feels so exhilarating, I just can’t resist It's hard to see how heaven could be any better than this It feels so exhilarating, I just can’t resist
5.	A Tear and a Smile 05:33	lyrics	buy track
Well it’s hard to let go When we both knew it was meant to be If only for a while And now all that’s left Is to send each other on our way With a tear and a smile Well I’ll probably feel a little bit flat for a while, but I guess it’s appropriate to acknowledge what we’ve had And if it takes me a while before I can think about somebody else, well that just shows you were more than a passing fad But as good as we were together, it remains that we're on very different paths – oh yes, it's true But I’m just glad our paths have intersected for this time, ‘cause I’m all the better for having been with you Well it’s hard to let go When we both knew it was meant to be If only for a while And now all that’s left Is to send each other on our way With a tear and a smile It was good – of that we can be sure There was trust – respectful and mature There was love – and that will always endure Yeah... it was good Even though I’ll miss you, this ain’t no whining country and western sob song, truth be told You ventured bravely off the beaten track to meet me, but now you’ve got to come in from the cold The hurt I feel is tempered by the feeling we were guided all along – yeah, even in the end So as one form of relationship winds up another remains, for I'll always consider you my friend Well it’s hard to let go ‘Cause we both knew it was meant to be If only for a while And now the time has come To send each other on our way With a tear and a smile Well it’s hard to say goodbye ‘Cause I just want to hold you tight once more In that now-familiar style But after everything is said and done You know there’s no regrets, because I still believe, I said I still believe, that it’s all been worthwhile
6.	Being With You 04:37	lyrics	buy track
Hello my friend, well it’s been a while And I guess it’s early days So forgive me if this seems a bit bold But I’ve got something to say See, I find myself thinking of you Oh, every single day And I figured that I owed it to you To let you know I feel this way I'm not gonna ask for all your time I know that you care for others too And I don’t need you to rescue me I just really like being with you And when I get a glimpse of all the things A partnership of equals can lead to That’s when I realise I’ve spent half my life Just waiting for someone like you Well... you’re gorgeous But that's not why I’m saying these things I see us travelling down a common road Oh the possibilities that this brings... (Instrumental break) I’m not gonna ask for all your time I know that you care for others too And I don’t need you to rescue me I just really like being with you I’m not asking you to rescue me It’s just really good being with you
7.	Human 04:54	lyrics	buy track
There are times you comprehend You’re not as pure as you pretend When all you do seems like a sham – I feel like that today I hold ideals I cannot reach I do not practice what I preach And all my best intentions I invariably betray I feel so unfit for the role Of trying to mend the planet’s soul But there’s no superheroes lining up to take my place It might seem inappropriate Regardless, I’ll still do my bit Maybe being a hypocrite’s my ticket to the human race Surface charms I don’t possess So I’ll just have to do my best With the humble hand that I’ve been dealt – my only cards to play But what of all the little ones Who’ve seldom had time in the sun? Does my self-centredness neglect a world in disarray? Honesty’s so hard to bear Humiliating to declare As mixed motives and double standards stare me in the face It’s painful to unearth it God, I hope it’s worth it But maybe being imperfect is my ticket to the human race When my heart gets in a spin It feels like I am twelve again Over-analysing everything I do or say Perspective scurries out the door My dignity is on the floor I’m on my knees, still clutching at this innocent bouquet If love appeared before my face Would I recognise its grace? Or would I hold out for some shallow Hollywood cliché? We’re not that different, you and I We all fall short, but still we try To soothe the restlessness that burns within us everyday A thousand different paths we take Through all kinds of grand mistakes In our essential yearning for the ultimate embrace Reality has called my bluff I sometimes think I’ve had enough But maybe being a fool for love’s my ticket to the human race Maybe being human is my ticket to the human race
8.	If Only You Knew 03:45	lyrics	buy track
If only you knew what I’ve got in store It’ll knock you right across the floor Will it leave you begging me for more? Or will it have you running out the door? There you are reading the daily news But the editor just doesn’t have a clue ‘Cause this genre of news comes unannounced Like a tiger in the jungle ‘bout to pounce If only you knew what I’ve got in store It’ll knock you right across the floor Will it leave you begging me for more? Or will it have you running out the door? Now I see you doing your day-to-day With no idea of what’s coming your way Well get ready to readjust the score ‘Cause you won’t be in Kansas anymore If only you knew what I’ve got in store It’ll knock you right across the floor Will it leave you begging me for more? Or will it have you running out the door? Please don’t think my motives are misplaced As I drop this bombshell in your face Anyone you ask will verify Your cosy little world is going bye-bye If only you knew what I’ve got in store It’ll knock you right across the floor Will it leave you begging me for more? Or will it have you running out the door? (Instrumental break) If only you knew what I’ve got in store It’ll knock you right across the floor Will it leave you begging me for more? Or will it have you running out the door? If only you knew what I’ve got in store It’ll knock you right across the floor Will it leave you begging me for more? Or will it have you running out the door? Or will it have you running out the door? If only you knew what I’ve got in store
9.	What Do You Believe? 03:41	lyrics	buy track
I want more than political correctness. I want more than fashionable critique. I need more than my small little ego. I need more than the latest trend of the week. Yeah I’m well aware of all the human mess in it all But I gotta get down on my knees. I need to fall in love with something bigger than myself, I wanna take it seriously. What do you believe? Ah, what do you believe? I want more than self-centred comfort. I want more than another cynical blast. I wanna be part of a great tradition. I wanna be part of something that’s gonna last. Yeah, well everyone is welcome to the wedding feast But you gotta want it real bad, ‘Cause there are implications for walking through that door It ain’t some warm and fuzzy fad, no! What do you believe? Ah, what do you believe? You’ve told me all the things you’re against Now tell me, what do you believe? Some things are death, some things are life: It ain’t all good, or haven’t you heard? Can you see it through when the going gets tough, Or have you just some nice-sounding words? Oh... (Instrumental break) I don’t wanna end up a fundamentalist jerk, But I gotta get down on my knees. I wanna give my life to something bigger than myself. Don’t you know I’m serious… What do you believe? Ah, what do you believe? You’ve told me why you think it’s a joke So tell me, what do you believe? What do you believe? What do you believe? You’ve told me all the things you’re against Now tell me, what do you believe?
10.	Goodbye 04:14	lyrics	buy track
You can’t do everything. No… you can’t do everything. Goodbye… to the life that I might’ve led. Goodbye… I’m going with something else instead. It’s time to place your bet. Yeah… it’s time to place your bet. Goodbye… to the life that I might’ve led. Goodbye… I’m going with something else instead. Gotta say, gotta say… gotta say, gotta say goodbye. It’s time to let it go. Yeah… you’ve got to let it go. Goodbye… to the life that I might’ve led. Goodbye… I’m going with something else instead.
11.	You Do It 03:24	lyrics	buy track
I’m not the man I want to be My faults are so plain to me I do the things I don’t want to do And I don’t do the things that I want to Lord, take this cross away from me (He says) “My grace is sufficient for thee…” “If you can’t do it… let me do it.” Lord I can’t do it… you do it. How many times must I fall on my face Before I let you take my place? How long will I try to raise myself up Before I drink from a different cup? (He says) “If you can’t do it… let me do it.” Lord I can’t do it… you do it. (Instrumental break) “If you can’t do it… let me do it. Let me do it.”
12.	Be Like That 04:16	lyrics	buy track
Have you ever met somebody Somebody just like you? But there’s something shining through them Something that you want too To be with them is daunting It reveals your poverty Yet you want to be around them And learn another way to be For once you’re not too proud To cry out loud… Make me like that I wanna be like that I wanna be like that Well I hope you’ve met somebody Whose life is not their own They give what they’ve been given As they gaze upon the Throne Their humble life of service Ignites your own desire You want to love what they love You want to be on fire With a twinkle in their eye They point to God on High Make me like that I wanna be like that I wanna be like that Make me like that I wanna be like that
13.	This Is What I've Always Wanted 04:53	lyrics	buy track
Call me to you, and I will follow Yeah call me to you, and I will follow Yeah… for the rest of my life, I will follow Yeah… for the rest of my life, I will follow ‘Cause this is what I’ve always wanted This is what I’ve always wanted This is what I’ve always wanted This is what I’ve always wanted
14.	The Promised Land 05:37	lyrics	buy track
Their lives are getting interesting, they’re not kids anymore Selfish thoughts are giving way to hopes of something more Other folks have come and gone, but this one seems to stay They’re trying to figure out if God has set things up this way After much discernment they’re now ready to declare “I promise to be faithful all my life…” They will take each other’s hand And strive to reach the Promised Land The honeymoon has come and gone, now new life has arrived The world forever changes as they look into those eyes Sleep and independence are but distant memories now Another child, well money’s overrated anyhow It’s harder than they ever thought, yet blessings overflow God willing, they would do it all again… They will take their children’s hands And guide them to the Promised Land They hope to pass on virtues based upon a solid creed They’re trying to stave off worldliness whilst serving those in need A scary diagnosis makes them throw out all their plans Their knees wear out from begging God to send his helping hand All certainty is stripped away, the well is almost dry Somehow they must learn to trust again… They will raise their weary hands And reach out to the Promised Land Time moves on, and suddenly their kids are kids no more Life abounds as grandkids start to trickle through the door Another generation’s turn to ride the wheel of life They pray the faith will guide them all and keep them out of strife Despite their faults they’ve done their best to give their lives away Now one last voyage out into the deep… They will raise their grateful hands And reach out to the Promised Land
15.	Easter Sunday Morning 05:47	lyrics	buy track
It’s Easter Sunday morning But the sun has yet to rise If the Lord is up to something He’s tremendously disguised Contagion has been rampant Solitude’s imposed Fear is going viral And the churches are all closed On Easter Sunday morning… It’s Easter Sunday morning And we’re totally perplexed We’re hiding in our cages Lest they come to get us next The Body has been broken The charges have been laid Our shame and our betrayals Are endlessly replayed On Easter Sunday morning… It’s Easter Sunday morning And the headlines all proclaim Two thousand years later And the world still looks the same Kids still die from hunger Cruelty still exists We’re told this was a triumph But the darkness still persists On Easter Sunday morning… It’s Easter Sunday morning And we’re down upon our knees The pain of our rebellion The groaning of our pleas A hint of unknown music Fills the frightened room Teasing us with rumours About an empty tomb On Easter Sunday morning… It’s Easter Sunday morning And mystery abounds There’s rumbling ‘neath the surface There’s shackles on the ground A glimpse is all we’re promised A sign of things unseen There’s light on the horizon The atmosphere is clean On Easter Sunday morning… Running to the tomb… With tears in our eyes… Right before the dawn… On Easter Sunday morning
16.	Now and Not Yet 05:01	lyrics	buy track
Nothing in this world can satisfy The deepest longings felt by you and I Nothing in this world can tear apart The beauty we’ve been made for from the start Nothing in this world can satisfy The deepest longings felt by you and I Nothing in this world can tear apart The glory we’ve been made for from the start Nothing in this world can satisfy The deepest longings felt by you and I Nothing in this world can tear apart The peace that we’ve been made for from the start

credits

released February 24, 2022

All songs written by Fr Mark Baumgarten. Recording and mixing by Patrick Carré and Simon Groves at Artisan Music. Mastering by James Newhouse.

Featured musicians: Fr Mark Baumgarten (lead vocals, backing vocals, piano, organ, keyboards, percussion), Paul Curtis (production, guitars, percussion), Paul Clarke (production, keyboards), Ben Nicholson (drums), Graeme Bell (bass, upright bass), Daniel Lu (electric guitar), James Maley (strings arrangement, cello, upright bass),Suzanne Kosovich (strings arrangement), Yasmin Omran (violin), Marty Pervan (horns), Daniel Drieberg (violin, mandolin), Adam Springhetti (upright bass), Ian Simpson (banjo), Nikki Dagostino (accordion), Tom Gourlay (bass), Emma Oorschot (vocals), Grace Feltoe (vocals), Natalie Thomas (backing vocals), Sarah Paverd-Joyce (backing vocals), Brad Paverd-Joyce (backing vocals), Colleen Skrapac (backing vocals), Bernadette Nicholson (backing vocals).

Songs not intended for use in the liturgy.

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about

Fr Mark Baumgarten Perth, Australia

Fr Mark Baumgarten is a Catholic priest of the Archdiocese of Perth, Australia. A self-taught pianist, he worked as a musician prior to entering seminary, and the lockdown of 2020 inspired a return to songwriting. "Now and Not Yet" is his debut album, featuring original songs both old and new. His second album will be released on the 3rd of May. ... more